TGIF! And to celebrate that we here at Cubiclues are bringing you another of our original poems. This one is called "White Collar Woes"!
White Collar Woes
I lie in bed at five past six and can't bear the thought of work,
My name card says senior executive but I'm just a glorified clerk,
My colleagues are all idiots but my boss doesn't seem to know,
Maybe it's because she's in the dictionary under the word bimbo.
I sit in my cubicell and stare at the walls,
I do nothing all day but shake and bake balls,
I pass the time by daydreaming about my year end vacation,
While I surf porn sites from my little workstation.
Watercooler time, let's check what's the goss,
Bob says he knows something funny about the boss,
He swears me to secrecy and proceeds to tell it so,
That the boss used to be a dude like five years ago.
Two three four o'clock five o'clock rock!
I'm outta my seat and punched out the clock,
Heading back home before I'm driven any more insane,
Another two days till I get those white collar woes again!
Have a grrrreat weekend everybody!
Showing posts with label top 20 office jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top 20 office jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
20 Things You'd Love To Say At Work
Greetings my garrulous gremlins!
Today we are going to have a little therapy session. And what better way to achieve catharsis than by getting all the things we want to say off our chests!
1. Did you wake up on the wrong side of your period today?
2. Oh, hey the Loch Ness monster look DOES work for you
3. Your perfume smells nice, what is it called? Urine?
4. It's not right to point fingers. So I'll just say it's your fault.
5. I called in sick yesterday. Sick of you.
6. You remind me of a younger version of myself. Except that I was never a damned moron.
7. I can't hear what you're saying, come back later when I'm deaf.
8. I just got off the phone with yo mamma, she said it's time for your breastfeeding.
9. The boss wants to see you in his room. Do you need a condom while you're there?
10. You're a hero to working mums everywhere. In fact, you're like our office's version of Britney.
11. I can't understand a word of your vagina monologue.
12. I'd like to use your powerpoint presentation...to wipe my ass.
13. Hey, I hope the coffee I made isn't too sweet? I only put two teaspoons of piss in it.
14. Hey man, your car just exploded. Don't worry, before it happened I moved it to an empty space where no one could get hurt.
15. Hey boss, I saw your personal ad in the classifieds yesterday. Real classy. How much do you charge per hour again?
16. I was dumbstruck by your presentation. Who knew your species had evolved this much?
17. I signed that document you needed. Oh, I ran out of pens so I used my faeces instead. Hope you don't mind!
18. Did it hurt when you bent over backwards for the boss?
19. I'd like to help but I'm really tired from last night. Your wife was insatiable!
20. Don't worry, shit happens. And you just happen to be full of it.
Now go print these and use them whenever you can! (Or you could make some nifty t-shirts or mugs)
*This list is an original piece. Please credit the blog if you wish to reproduce it.
Today we are going to have a little therapy session. And what better way to achieve catharsis than by getting all the things we want to say off our chests!
1. Did you wake up on the wrong side of your period today?
2. Oh, hey the Loch Ness monster look DOES work for you
3. Your perfume smells nice, what is it called? Urine?
4. It's not right to point fingers. So I'll just say it's your fault.
5. I called in sick yesterday. Sick of you.
6. You remind me of a younger version of myself. Except that I was never a damned moron.
7. I can't hear what you're saying, come back later when I'm deaf.
8. I just got off the phone with yo mamma, she said it's time for your breastfeeding.
9. The boss wants to see you in his room. Do you need a condom while you're there?
10. You're a hero to working mums everywhere. In fact, you're like our office's version of Britney.
11. I can't understand a word of your vagina monologue.
12. I'd like to use your powerpoint presentation...to wipe my ass.
13. Hey, I hope the coffee I made isn't too sweet? I only put two teaspoons of piss in it.
14. Hey man, your car just exploded. Don't worry, before it happened I moved it to an empty space where no one could get hurt.
15. Hey boss, I saw your personal ad in the classifieds yesterday. Real classy. How much do you charge per hour again?
16. I was dumbstruck by your presentation. Who knew your species had evolved this much?
17. I signed that document you needed. Oh, I ran out of pens so I used my faeces instead. Hope you don't mind!
18. Did it hurt when you bent over backwards for the boss?
19. I'd like to help but I'm really tired from last night. Your wife was insatiable!
20. Don't worry, shit happens. And you just happen to be full of it.
Now go print these and use them whenever you can! (Or you could make some nifty t-shirts or mugs)
*This list is an original piece. Please credit the blog if you wish to reproduce it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
