Today we're going to focus on the myths and truths that describe you and your job. Ready? And here...we...go!
1. Auditor/ A
ccountant
The Myth: You are meticulous, diligent and persistent. Nothing gets past you and you will crunch those numbers till kingdom come if that's what it takes to balance those figures. You are sponsored by your firm to pursue your professional qualification and from then on it's smooth sailing to the point you assume the CFO mantle.
ccountantThe Myth: You are meticulous, diligent and persistent. Nothing gets past you and you will crunch those numbers till kingdom come if that's what it takes to balance those figures. You are sponsored by your firm to pursue your professional qualification and from then on it's smooth sailing to the point you assume the CFO mantle.
The Truth: You are unimaginative, lack vision and like being a trained mule. You are dispensable like paper plates and the only reason you got your job is because no one else wanted it. By the time you're done with ur ACCA/CPA/CRAP you will be old, used and jaded from all the endless nights doing thankless work. You will then be put out to pasture. High chance of you joining the "Bitter Old Singles Club".
2. Investment Banker
The Myth: You are a high flying corporate executive with a mind as sharp as ginsu
knives and a bank account bigger than a small third world country's GDP. Every investment you made has seen its returns quadruple and you are the shining light of your company and your millionaire clients. Your social life is filled with meeting people of a similar stature and the least you will date is a supermodel. No housing or subprime recession can hold you down, the only direction you're heading is up!
knives and a bank account bigger than a small third world country's GDP. Every investment you made has seen its returns quadruple and you are the shining light of your company and your millionaire clients. Your social life is filled with meeting people of a similar stature and the least you will date is a supermodel. No housing or subprime recession can hold you down, the only direction you're heading is up! The Truth: You are literally chained to your desk all day to monitor the share market. On slow days they let you have 8 seconds for lunch. You are constantly under pressure from the market, your boss and greedy but dumb clients. You are one bum deal away from financial ruin and you are seriously considering that proposal to commit securities fraud/insider trading. The last interaction you had with a woman was watching Hannah Montana videos after work. Suicide is not an option for you. It is a vacation.
3. Customer Service/ Global Support
The Myth: You are the frontline of the company, the face and voice to represent the organization's values and mission. You are cordial, polite, informative and always cheerful. You personify the saying "smile in your voice". There isn't a problem or complaint you can't handle and you always end conversations with a big smile and "thank you,have a good day!". What can you say? You're a people person!The Truth: You are a glorified answering machine. Even the cleaning crew serve more of a purpose than you. Your job is menial and facetious but you deluded yourself into thinking the company and clients can't do without your "expertise". You get more complaints than the Bush administration and spend most of your time watching David Cook videos on Youtube while pretending to write your groundbreaking reports. You would be the first person the company "lets go" in the event of a restructure and no one would notice if you were gone. You will most likely be on Prozac or seek therapy to cope with your descension into dementia.
4. Government/ Civil Servant
The Myth: You serve your country by conducting any number of valuabl
e services within your jurisdiction or respective ministry. Each day you strive to make the country a better place and are relentless in your efforts to bring progress and efficiency to the community. The civil sector would be ineffectual without you and the country would be worse for wear. You are a symbol of patriotism, loyalty and respect!
The Truth: Get real. You are dumb, lazy, incompetent and did I say dumb? Your job pays peanuts which makes you a monkey. Everyday that you are above ground is a curse on humanity. You come in to work at 10 am, leave at 4 pm. In between you drink more tea than the whole of China could provide and gossip about local and foreign celebrities or your next door neighbour. You got your job because of nepotism and favouritism (and because someone is behind you and has your back). The only good thing about you is that you make the people mentioned above seem like Stephen Hawking by comparison.
e services within your jurisdiction or respective ministry. Each day you strive to make the country a better place and are relentless in your efforts to bring progress and efficiency to the community. The civil sector would be ineffectual without you and the country would be worse for wear. You are a symbol of patriotism, loyalty and respect!The Truth: Get real. You are dumb, lazy, incompetent and did I say dumb? Your job pays peanuts which makes you a monkey. Everyday that you are above ground is a curse on humanity. You come in to work at 10 am, leave at 4 pm. In between you drink more tea than the whole of China could provide and gossip about local and foreign celebrities or your next door neighbour. You got your job because of nepotism and favouritism (and because someone is behind you and has your back). The only good thing about you is that you make the people mentioned above seem like Stephen Hawking by comparison.
Come back tomorrow for Part 2!
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2 comments:
HAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE the last one #4!! And really AWESOME choice of photo!! =D LMAO!!
Well, he took one for the team. Least we can do is honor his contribution to the country.
B.H.
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