Your Job: Myth vs Truth Part 2

5. Marketing/ Advertising/ Public Relations

The Myth: You are creative, brilliant and have a keen eye for contemporary trends. Your work helps build brand images and legacies, educating millions about smarter choices and opens their eyes to a world of possibilities. You help companies and causes build awareness, generate excitement and infuse products and services with an identity beyond the tangible. You are an inspiration to the rest of the corporate denizens.

The Truth: You are a frighteningly unethical salesman, you are so devious that you could sell the idea of Stevie Wonder chauffeur services. Everything out of your mouth is basically BS being spun in a positive light to deceive naive or materialistic people. You are only interested in helping unscrupulous companies make more profits regardless of the negative effect it may have on youth and society in the long term. Your expertise is creating needs that don't exist and making the world a shallower place. Enjoy that blood money while you can, you heartless capitalist.

6. Human Resources

The Myth: You are your company's shining beacon of light. A paragon of all that is virtuous and noble about the firm. Your job is to ensure the employees are satisifed, motivated and appreciated. You instill enthusiasm and purpose in the company culture, making sure everyone is part of "the family". You believe that HR is not only vital to the company, but it is the pulse that keeps it alive.

The Truth: Everyone hates you. It's true. You are the office "Two Face" because you are nice to everyone but stab everyone who trusts you in the back to ensure the best possible situation for management.. You have no identity of your own anymore because you have been consistently brainwashed with company cliche values and policies. You live, breathe the company to the point people can't stomach the sight of you. Your job mainly involves making sure everyone goes by the book and that a totalitarian (but upbeat!) rule is established. You are despicable and possibly Judas Iscariot reincarnated.

7. Business Consultant

The Myth: You are innovative, intuitive and quite the problem solver. Companies and organizations look to you to save them from financial and operational oblivion and of course, you never fail to deliver. Your job is fulfilling because you contribute to the progress and constant improvement of an organization's outlay and unltimately help build a better tomorrow. You're like Superman really, but in a business suit.

The Myth: You are a mercenary who peddles trite and rehashed ideas your company stole from the Harvard Business School syllabus. All you do is pretend to observe obvious faults of an organization and proceed to provide anodyne, generic solutions that will probably fail so that you can charge your client for a second consult. Your days are mostly spent "analyzing" a company's activities and personnel in which you will not decipher anything but it doesn't matter as long as you clock in the hours. Basically you are a glorified business textbook who gained a misplaced sense of confidence after watching every single season of The Apprentice.

8. IT Technician/ Analyst/ Programmer

The Myth: You are the information highway. The world wide web, hardware, software, nothing is beound your knowledge. Your presence is highly sought after and your job is rewarding because without you, office technology comes to a standstill. You are an expert at creating websites, flash art, avant garde videos and basically anything the mind can fathom. Steve Jobs would squeal like a teenager if you joined Apple. In fact, Bill Gates is the new you (not the other way round).

The Truth: You are a 40 year old virgin (online alias: Neo) and you live in your parents basement. Your only friend is the one you created for yourself on Second Life and the highlight of the week for you is reenacting Return Of The Jedi with costumes your mum made (once in awhile she'll play Princess Leia). At work, you are stuck in a dark, dingy corner unfit for Quasimodo and you are only seen when some moron needs you to reboot his PC. Once, you actually interacted with the office hottie and since then you dream about her every night. You don't see her around the office anymore. Not since you started that tribute site in her honor. Must be a coincidence, right?

Time to reevaluate your careers!